In every family, every group of friends, every business, and in every other kind of community, there are welcoming and parting commemorations. We have embraced different priests as they joined our community with celebration and joy, and have said goodbye to them when they were called away with appreciation and best wishes. We do so again as Father Joseph moves to a new position in the Diocese of Raleigh. After his time in the parish, Father Joseph expressed his desire to stay in the diocese. He has recently accepted a new position as the bishop’s special assistant for liturgy, in which he will travel with the bishop to various liturgical events.
“Father Joseph arrived here after having served six years in Philadelphia,” remembers Father Chris Koehn, “and Philadelphia is a region of our church where things are decreasing instead of increasing. They are closing schools and merging parishes, so morale in the Presbyterate can be low across those places. However, the Southern Catholic Church is growing, in terms of people at Mass in numbers and in the joyfulness in greeting their priest after Mass, and it permeates the whole experience here. So when Father Joseph came here, he remarked right away, ‘This was what I was hoping for when I was ordained,’ because he was ordained in Nigeria and came directly to his last assignment in Philadelphia as a brand new priest.”
Father Joseph, in his homily on June 14th at the 9 AM mass, echoed that experience, saying, “Upon my arrival at St. Francis, I felt welcome and loved despite the challenges of getting to know people in this community. The love and welcoming atmosphere I received from the priests, members of staff, and the entire parish was so overwhelming. These experiences have been my grounding force, keeping me going throughout my time here at St. Francis.”
Of course, coming to a new city and getting your bearings is one thing, but getting preordained housemates can often be a challenge, but not for our clergy. “Upon my arrival in Raleigh, Fr. Chris and Fr. James were home, and they immediately helped to unload my car. Since that day, we became brothers, sharing jokes, meals, watching games and shows on TV, with cricket being Fr. James’s favorite and old car shows Fr. Chris’s choice.”
As with any roommates, sharing a kitchen has its own unique opportunities. “Fr. Chris makes porkchops,” says Joseph, “and I prefer veggies and fish, while Fr. James cooks the rice, although only with a rice cooker.” Joseph says what he will miss most is the fun times they had in the rectory. “I will miss the times we have shared as brothers in the Priesthood, always looking out for each other.” Joseph shared that their running joke in the rectory was always to say, ‘looking forward to missing you!’ “Whenever one of us was about to make a trip, or it was anyone’s day off, we would always say ‘looking forward to missing you’. I hope they are not looking forward to missing me now,” he says with a smile.
Since his arrival, Father Joseph has been involved in various parish activities, including serving as a spiritual presence for middle school faith formation and providing spiritual care for the young adult groups in the Parish. “His qualifications in marriage and family counseling have been beneficial, especially as he navigates his new cultural landscape,” says Father Chris.
Sometimes, though, the cultural differences affect his counseling work. Differences in cultural background can affect how he approaches counseling, and he often seeks guidance on the nuances of American marital dynamics. “He’ll ask me questions about the marriage part when he’s counseling somebody,” says Father Chris, “because in the Nigerian culture, nobody ever splits up.”
When he came here, he had to complete his 2,000 clinical hours in counseling, which was part of the agreement he made to come to St. Francis. “He does that clinical work at Duke early in the morning until late in the evening.” Even as busy as he is, he does still spend his time helping with the responsibilities of the priests here. “He was always available to do ‘sick calls,’ particularly at Duke, and anything on the way home at Rex or other places. He has a good, compassionate bedside manner because of his clinical sensibility and just because of who he is.”
The sense of family he found here at St. Francis was pointed out, in particular, by Father Joseph as something he will always remember: “Visiting families during my time at St. Francis, whether it be for sick call, the blessing of their homes or cars, for dinner, etc., has been a blessing and I will miss all these times. You made me feel welcome and loved by letting me into your homes.” He also appreciated how the spirit of ‘community’ was embraced, saying, “ The church community has always represented a community of love. Whether it was the spirit of the worshippers at mass or the time spent just chatting after mass, the love and care were evident, especially when I shared with you all about the turmoil in my country, Nigeria. I always appreciated your prayers and concern.”
Father Joseph treasured his time with the school community at St. Francis. “I really missed being able to spend as much time as I wanted to at the schools since I was committed at Duke Raleigh Hospital for my own clinicals and was unable to always visit the students. The time that I did get to spend with them during the Catholic Social Teaching week and school Masses was awesome.” He says he will miss the joy the children brought him and asks parents and families to continue supporting the children and the joy they bring to this community. He adds that championing the staff and all those who support their learning process is a great way to foster the joyful spirit felt by their children and fellow students.
While he is not going too far from us, he does have a request for the St. Francis Community: “Continue to be the best of who you are in sharing the love of Christ as he has instructed us to do. Always remember to look out for your priests; they are human, with many struggles, and are always willing to serve despite any challenges in their lives. They need your help in building God’s kingdom here on Earth.” He also thanks all those who have cared for him and his fellow priests during his time here. “You all are the best and most wonderful,” he says. “Keep up being who you have always been as an individual and as a community. I will miss you all and never fail to keep me in your prayers.”
