“Spiritual direction,” says Nancy Jones, an Ignatian-trained spiritual director, “is a special time set aside to meet with another person who treasures their devotion to God, wants to nourish their relationship with Jesus, and is searching for the way the Holy Spirit is moving in their life.” However, the term ‘spiritual direction’ can be a misnomer and could cause some confusion. As Nancy points out, “As a spiritual director, I don’t actually direct anyone in their spiritual life, unless asked a specific question. But even then, each relationship with God is as unique as that person, and ultimately it is the directee’s choice in how they live out their faith.”
Gladys Whitehouse, another Director in the ministry, began over 20 years ago by volunteering to serve as a ‘directee’ with someone in formation to become a spiritual director, and who needed to meet with a few people. Gladys says, “I had had a taste of it a few years earlier but had not stuck with it. I decided to give it another try.” That ‘restart’ made a difference in her life. “What a gift it has been to me! I am so grateful for that nudging to try again.” She found that not only did she get to know herself better by learning to hold both the ‘negative,’ or shadow, side of herself along with the gifts she says God has graciously given her, “but,” she adds, “I’ve also learned who Christ is for me in my life. He has become my Beloved and I know more fully that I am his as well.”
It is with a spiritual director that one can be honest and open up this deeply personal part of one’s life. “Think about it,” says Nancy, “how many people are there in your life with whom you can actually talk about your relationship with God, your prayer life, the Catholic faith, and your doubts about that faith, and they hang on your every word?!” Gladys adds, “Spiritual direction is a spiritual practice that requires a commitment, like prayer, attending Mass, praying the Rosary, or other devotions. On the one hand, it is about showing up once a month and sharing with another person where I have seen God present in my life, and where I think God is calling me to be in the world or my relationship with others. But it is also more than that. It’s taking the time to reflect and notice the Holy Spirit’s movements within me.”
The Spiritual Direction ministry is unique. As trained Directors, who, in preparation for becoming spiritual directors and to ethically maintain their ongoing ministry, not only pay for two to four years of training but also continue to incur the costs of insurance, annual retreats, continued education, and their own spiritual direction, they are therefore compensated. “We are not volunteers, and we are paid for our time,” says Nancy, “but most spiritual directors work on a sliding scale, and those of us in the St. Francis of Assisi ministry agreed on the same very reasonable sliding scale for one hour together.” As with a mental health professional, everything the directee says and discusses is confidential. “But unlike a therapist,” adds Nancy, “as your spiritual director, I look for God with you in every aspect of your life that you share with me. I can help the directee to see where God has been present, even at those times when God feels far away. Spiritual directors will offer support and pray for you during the hardest times of your life; however, unlike a therapist, we won’t have answers about solving concerns.”
As a compassionate listener, not a fixer, who offers confidential support, the distinction lies in the motivation for seeking help. “The difference, I see,” says Nancy, “ lies with the reason someone comes for spiritual direction. A directee is not necessarily going through a difficult or profoundly sad time in their life and working to get through it in a practical sense.” She adds that in spiritual direction, the relationship can last for many years, because our life circumstances and our relationship with God are constantly evolving. A person seeks spiritual direction out of a desire to grow and advance their loving bond with Christ, and seeks a companion in that journey.
Gladys provides insight from her experiences: “It’s different from going to confession and celebrating the sacrament of reconciliation because there are times when I need to talk about things other than sins. It might be sharing some joyful moments in our family and recognizing that it is all a gift from God. Or realizing a need to let go of a hurt or situation that I’ve been clinging to. As I live more fully into my elder years, I’m also realizing that I need to let go of some of the things I’ve always loved to do, including certain ministries. My spiritual director listens without judgment to what I share, but she also listens to God’s voice, as best as any of us can. And so, I am grateful for this spiritual practice in my life. I invite anyone who is considering it to pray about it and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance.”
“Sometimes we never know the effect our time with a directee has on them, unless they choose
to share it,” points out Nancy. “I have had some lovely feedback from directees, some thankfulness in realizing their freedom to be themselves with me, an ability to share deeply what is happening within their souls, and knowing that meeting with me will be a safe place to share what they don’t tell most friends, a therapist, or maybe even their spouse. She says, “Serving as a spiritual director is a privilege; it’s humbling and precious. It can be a time of wonder and excitement or vulnerability and deep compassion. How each session goes is really up to the directee, and the Holy Spirit, who is always present with us.”
This ancient Christian tradition involves exploring, dreaming of, and discerning a path towards your deeper relationship with God, and to discover God’s movement in your experience. If you are interested in finding out what the Spiritual Direction ministry can offer you, please visit here to see profiles of the Directors and read some FAQs.
