Many thanks to all who helped coordinate Fr. Bill’s farewell reception last Sunday. We wish Bill the best as he moves to Immaculate Conception in Durham. I know that many people will miss Bill. Below are the “Top 10 Ways Fr. Bill Will Be Missed” as I see it….a blessed Labor Day weekend to all!
Top 10 Ways Fr. Bill will be missed….
10. Easy to identify Bill’s whereabouts based on “Will Flex 4 Food” sticker on back window of car.
9. Staff subcommittee established to determine best campus location for the “Bill McConville Full-Length Posing Mirror.”
8. Easy to tell Bill had last mass based on 40-pound barbells left in sleeves of presider vestments.
7. Only remaining friar over 60 known to use the term “dude” in everyday conversation.
6. Easier for remaining friars to find jar of peanut butter behind 256-ounce plastic bin of “multi-strength, fast-acting, maximum energy, intense focus, amplified endurance, explosive power, zero-crash, zero-sugar, pre-workout energy drink – vanilla flavor.”
5. Community Center staff no longer placed in awkward position of having to decide which FrancisFest t-shirt size is most flattering to Bill’s physique.
4. Parish budgeting process adversely affected by decline in donations to the “Bill McConville Endowment for Bicep Development.”
3. Watching Bill “flex for food” on median strip of Leesville Road at 540 and accepting “to-go” bags from passing motorists of “multi-strength, fast-acting, maximum energy, intense focus, amplified endurance, explosive power, zero-crash, zero-sugar, pre-workout energy drink – fruit punch flavor.”
2. No more late night phone calls from Schwarzenegger and Stallone reminiscing about the “good old days.”
1. Because he is a smart, funny, wise, holy, human, lovably fallible man who will be missed by a great many people.